he wants to bone in the snuggie
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
