Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Randomize
