i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
