she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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