You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
