You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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