I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
