I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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