how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize