i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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