she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He has the fingertips of a God
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