Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
