Christians are straight up FREAKS
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
