ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
