Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
honey bunches of taint.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
