im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize