Can Purell be used as lube?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
