When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
