What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
