Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize