saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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