It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
