Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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