In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize