He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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