Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
