I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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