well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
