I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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