Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
