Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
