Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
