Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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