Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We left the knife in your bed.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
