I CAN MOONWALK!
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
