4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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