I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
