One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
