im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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