i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
