I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize