So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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