I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize