wakey wakey hands off snakey
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
