I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize