I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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