singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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