Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
