That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
don't judge my taste in strippers
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
