Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
