some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
