He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
