She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Randomize
