If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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