gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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