kristin has been a bad kristin
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I think I sprained my soul last night
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
