I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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