Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
