My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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