??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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