Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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