My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
