His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
