What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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