i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
