You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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