No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
