your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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