ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
