last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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