best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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