You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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