Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize