I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
