Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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