I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
